Transcript: Mrs. Coy on Detours, Character, and Second Chances

Good morning and welcome back to Late Start Show. We are here today with Upper School Dean of Students, Freshman Class Dean, lawyer turned educator, and member of the U.S. faculty since the year I was born, 2009, Miss Betsy Coy. How are you doing today, Miss Coy? I now feel really cool.

Thank you for pointing that out, Charlie. No, I think it's awesome. We always like to start off, you know, obviously way at the beginning. So take us back to where you grow up.

What did your street, your town and your house actually feel like as a kid? Okay. That's a great question. I grew up in South Euclid, so not far from here.

I'm a Brush High School alumni. I get asked the question. I did not go there at the same time as Dr. Folds, but we did have some of the same teachers.

We have we have compared. I grew up on a street that was very suburban, right? I played outside with my friends until it got dark. My mom sent us out in the morning and we came home at the end of the day.

Small little house. There were five of us in my house. One, I like to point out to my kids, three bedrooms, one bathroom for the entire house. And so it was in growing up, I didn't know any different.

And I'd like to say I came from some humble roots, but yeah, it was an amazing childhood actually. And you specifically, were you a rule follower, rule questioner, the kid who kind of quietly rewrote your own rules? And has that answer changed? I would say I was the first and the last, probably a kid that wrote my own rules until about eighth grade and had a long sit down with my dad going into high school.

And I became a kid that followed the rules pretty quickly based on our sit down. You know, going through at high school, we like to hear about how so many U.S. teachers just had one experience in high school that really shaped them into wanting to be an educator. Did you have that experience or was it just something along the path that really gave you that push? So I grew up thinking and knowing I wanted to be a teacher.

I said I grew up there were five of us. I have a younger brother that has Down syndrome and I am a little bit like 18 months older than he is. And so he was sort of attached to me always as we were growing up. And I always wanted to be a teacher from him.

And so even in high school, we did a senior project. I did my senior project in a special education classroom. Had always thought that was where I was going to land. And you actually went to Bowling Green and your undergraduate degree was in special education, I believe.

I did. I received my undergraduate degree in special education. And life has a funny way of kind of throwing you for a loop sometimes. So when I was interviewing for jobs my senior year of college, it was right around the time that inclusion became all the rage in education. and I had wanted to teach students like my brother, students with Down syndrome and more severe developmental disabilities.

And I started interviewing for jobs. And those of you that know me know I don't mince words very much. And I pretty much tell you the way it is. And I thought, oh my gosh, somebody's going to ask me in an interview what I think about inclusion.

And I'm going to say, I think it might be a terrible idea for some kids and I'm never going to get hired. And so in my senior year of college, I had a crisis. I was like, what am I going to do with my life? And this is, again, life is funny sometimes.

My dad said to me, well, you know, you're really great at arguing. You should think about going to law school. And I was like, that's a great idea. And I took my education certification tests one weekend and the next weekend I took the LSAT.

And then I applied to law school because back then you could literally just be like, oh, I'm just going to apply to law school. And I did. And I got in and I went. That's pretty much, yeah.

You know, special education and law overlap much more arguably than people realize, especially around advocacy and student rights. Was that the part that really drew you in specifically into law? And what was that real connection? Absolutely.

And when I went to law school, I thought I'm going to become an advocate for the handicapped. And I started law school and I still had wanted to do that. And then I went through my first semester and I was like, I don't want to go to court. I'm not interested in that.

And I pivoted again, right? It was not something that once I realized what you had to do to become an advocate, that was something that in my first semester of experience, I was like, that's actually not the part that I like. And so I pivoted and switched over to corporate law. I know it seems like, what?

But I did. I got a job at Sherwin-Williams as a law clerk after my first year of law school. And I was really interested in the work. It was challenging in a way that I had never thought it could be.

And I took off from there. then you had another pivot back to education another pivot life is funny I'm telling you when did you know that going back into schools was going to be the choice that you wanted to make yeah that is that is a good question um I practiced for so I finished law school and I practiced in a law firm for four years and I knew while I was at the law firm the things that I loved to do were mentoring young attorneys. It was working with students every opportunity I had. And I did what I would call like career suicide at my law firm. I went to the partners and said, so I think there's a niche here that I could fill.

I would really like to create this position. And I wrote a whole business plan and a position and said, here's what I think the firm needs and I'd like to do it. And it was training young associates and working with them. And they told me no.

They said, no, that's not going to happen. We want you to be a partner here. And I was like, that's so nice. That's not what I want to do.

And so at that point, I was like, okay, I need to find something else that will fill my cup. I transitioned in-house to to work at a company called Applied Industrial Technologies, where I did corporate law for them. And also while I was there, the things that I enjoyed doing were working with their management trainee program and figuring out ways. I was always drawn back to the education piece.

And I'm not sure if you asked this question, but I think this is probably where this question is going is, how did I find my way back here? You might have already asked that. is somewhere in that timeframe, my father passed away. And I spent a lot of time I think it not uncommon for people when they lose someone to sort of do like a life assessment And I like what am I doing All I want to do is do things that are not actually my job And so I started looking back in education and found my way back here. Very luckily, networked a little bit, sort of figured out how am I going to get back in.

I was looking at recertifying myself with my license and a part-time job opened here. And I feel really fortunate that it did at the time that it did. You know, in 2009, you talk about the fact that you came into university school. Take us back how to maybe that first interview process here.

I know from every teacher we've had, their interview day is one day that they'll just never forget. What was that day for you? And when did it finally hit you? Yes, this is where I want to be.

So my interview day was a little unique because it happened in the summer. And the job posted in the summer, I'm not sure of what that all looked like, but I came here, there weren't a ton of students here, but I was able to meet with a couple of administrators, a teacher, and also they did have a panel of students for me. And after I met with the students and I was getting a tour and walking around and talking with their current, that was their dean of students, Margaret Mason, and the head of the upper school was Bill O'Neill, and Mr. Gallagher was the dean of faculty.

I was, I like to say I was his first hire, it set him up for success. So I was talking to them just about why they liked it here, and just listening to their answers, and after talking to the boys, and one of them gave me a tour, I was like, I need to work at this place. Like this place is amazing. They have kids talking with me.

Everybody who I spoke with just spoke so positively about their experience. And I was like, this is it. This is what I've been looking for. And so it was, it was, it was different from other people's interview days, but it was definitely that moment where I was like, I don't know what I need to do to work here, but I need to work here.

And what was that position when you first came in? I was a part-time learning specialist. So I was the very first learning specialist that the school had ever hired. And I was hired to work three days a week, I think.

And after about a month, I was like, I think I need to be here a little bit more. There was no formal program for learning services. And so it was like the school was thinking, well, we might have some need, but we're not really sure. And so I worked part-time for a year. and then full-time after that.

And then you eventually obviously moved into the upper school dean of students. I'm not sure if there's positions in between, but when that job came up, tell us about those, but then when that job came up, did you want the job or was it something that someone kind of talked you into? I very much had wanted the job of dean of students. And I had mentioned Margaret Mason was the dean of students when I started and she left, I think it was 2012. and I hadn't been here long enough to apply for that job.

But when she left, I was thinking, oh man, I wish that I could apply for that. And so when the position opened, I knew that it was what I wanted. It was, as I was a learning specialist, I also became director of learning services over both campuses. And at that time, I was also Sanders head of house.

And so the student life piece for me was always the part that really was exciting to me. And I enjoyed being a learning specialist and working one-on-one with students. And I miss that a little bit even now. But I would say that the student life piece and how the school runs was always really interesting to me.

And I was really grateful for the opportunity to interview and apply for the job. Let's talk about the opportunity you've given. Obviously, there's the business law class here that you're able to teach. What do you think that kind of gives back to U.S. and you can kind of bring in some of your corporate law knowledge to the larger U.S. base?

I was so excited to be able to teach that class. It was something that I had talked about pre-COVID and then COVID. So we just say, okay, COVID happened. And everybody became busy in a way that they hadn't before.

And when things had started to feel more normal around here, I brought it back up again that that was something that I wanted to do. And I mean, you guys know from going here, opportunities are afforded to everybody and people who seek opportunities and present things receive them. And it is the same for faculty. I was like, I really want to teach this class.

I want to create it. And it fits in with some of the entrepreneur things that are happening in Anderson Scholars. And before I worked here, I actually taught at the law school for a couple of years. And I missed the opportunity, like I was saying, of working one-on-one with students and having the ability to have that kind of relationship for students to know me as someone other than the dean of students.

And so I was really grateful for the opportunity to do that. so obviously part of your job now is discipline and it's not the only part of your job thank you but anyways when you do have to have that conversation some of those difficult conversations that i have to imagine you don't like having um what are you trying to accomplish with that student maybe the first two minutes of conversation what's the angle that you try to take so that they can learn from that? Okay. I think you used the word angle. No angle, Jack.

I would say the interesting thing about my job and part of the reason why I like it, because it's weird when I say I really like my job. I don't love disciplining students. That is not the part that I love. But I look at our disciplinary process here, especially the way that it has been shaped over the years, is less about the consequence and more about character building.

And so when I have a conversation with a student who has made a mistake, and everybody makes mistakes, it really is in that moment about how do I help the student recognize and acknowledge the mistake he made and figure out how he can grow from there? Because we all have made mistakes in our lives. I'm sure you two have made mistakes. I have made mistakes. and if you don't capitalize on that moment and grow from your mistakes and learn from your mistakes then they're those mistakes are for naught right like they're they're just you look at them and you're like wow that was really stupid but if you take the opportunity to learn and grow from it I really feel like there is purpose things everything happens for a reason right?

And to be able to help students recognize that one mistake doesn't define you, four mistakes don't define you. It's all what you do after you have recognized it, acknowledged it, and decided to do different next time. What that part of the job that nobody sees that you would guess most of the students don even know that you really do from the day to day I think interestingly compared to most of my colleagues I think people see what I do a lot. I think a big part of my job is to be present.

And so I'm around, you see me walking through the hallways and I'm not just walking through the hallways to get my steps. I like to be around and get to know the students. And I think when someone looks at my role and thinks it's solely about discipline, I think they're missing the part where, like, I know every student in the building. And I like to truly get to know them.

And you'll see me stopping at tables and talking to people and finding out what they're doing and what they're studying. And I love that part of my job. And I don't know people see it, but I purposefully do that. Like, that is, I spend as little time in my office as possible. maybe they don't see the time at night where I'm like going through conduct things and emails and all the emails that I get but that is I feel like my role is more visible like most of my role is visible and if it wasn't that I wouldn't be doing my job the right way if that makes sense yeah it makes complete sense another part of your job is you're the freshman class dean and you get to obviously guide the boys as they enter as a freshman then you're the one that gives them the handshake at the graduation ceremony.

And you talk about the discipline moments as something that's like a learning experience. And obviously this place, we even talked about this today, like it's about the academics, it's about preparing for college, but it's also about this is one of the most transformational periods in the students' lives. So what changes the most between the two versions of the freshman student and the senior student? I would say the thing that changes the most is you guys all grow up.

I didn't think about you guys when you were a freshman, right? I just had the freshman parent coffee this morning and was talking a little bit about this, is that, you know, if you think back to your 14-year-old self, and I did this with the parents this morning, we did a little thought exercise of thinking of themselves as 14 and 15-year-olds. The mistakes made along the way really shape who you are. And I mean, there's obviously the physical transformation of growing up.

But I like to, you know, when I shake everybody's hand after they cross the stage of graduation, it is really like, oh man, I remember you as a freshman and like you have grown up so much and it's everyone though. And because I spend time, you know, getting to know students and I really know most, if not all of them, I can really reflect on and feel honored to be able to reflect on all of them when they cross the stage. I'm like, oh, my gosh. And remember this.

And I'm thinking about those moments that, you know, they were, you know, acting up in class or, you know, had funny things that they did with their friends in the lower Cummins. And those are the things I think about. What's one thing that you can say to almost every freshman that you've just said repeatedly and repeal-y, that is one lesson that every student should just know overall. That's a lot of pressure.

Just one? Or even a couple, honestly. Well, I mean, I think that you wake up every day and have the opportunity to be your best self. And if today was not, you would get to the end of the day and you are like, well, that's really not my best.

That's okay. You have the opportunity to do it again tomorrow. And I don't know that I say that en masse, like I don't say it to groups of people, but I think I say it a fair amount to freshmen when they fall upon hard times. And it really is.

It's so true. Everyone has the ability to start over and be their best self every day. And I think, interestingly enough, in a school, you have the opportunity to start fresh every year too, not even just every year, every semester in terms of academics. And so, you know, there's, there is no shortage of opportunity here.

You just have to be willing to accept it and, and challenge yourself to do it. You talk a lot about what you teach the students and some lessons that you've given them. Are there any lessons that the students have given you over the years? I think working here in the capacity that I do certainly keeps me young and so much so that I was thinking today, my son went here, he graduated in 2021, about his senior speech and you had given me sort of a preview of some things you might ask me and so I was like, I don't know, what somebody say about me?

I don't know. And I watched his senior speech today because the senior speech was about going to school at the place where his mom worked. And he said in his senior speech, and I laughed so hard when I watched it, here's a few things you don't know about Mrs. Coy.

And one is she has the sense of humor of a 15 year old boy. So this place keeps me young. And I learn, I think I think I learned a lot of humility from you guys. Just I am in awe and admire all the things that you all do.

And I look at you two and your classmates and I think, oh my gosh, my ninth grade year, I didn't even have a backpack. Honestly, I didn't take books home. And so I'm impressed by you and all of the drive that the students here have in a way that I just was not part of my high school experience. You know, coming on to your 17th year here, what has changed most about this place?

And thinking just even longer into the future, what do you think should change even more? The physical space has changed the most. I would say that the hallmarks of this place have remained the same. The quality of students, the interactions, the ability to build relationships with students, with colleagues, that has remained the same, but the physical space has changed tremendously.

And when I think about the future, I just, I feel like there's so much opportunity to create programming and do things that can benefit the student. Working at a school at really a place that is mission-driven, like truly mission-driven, where I know that the students are at the heart of every decision that's made, and I feel really confident that every decision that is made, whether I'm a part of it or not, is made with that in mind. I feel like only good things can come to this place. Because if you are running a business or a school that is mission-driven and you are making those decisions that you could only propel yourself forward.

So when a boy from the class of 2027 is 40 years old and someone mentions Mrs. Coy at the alumni get-together, what do you hope comes to his mind first? I hope that that student and others will remember me as somebody who truly cared about them, about the kind of person they are, and about this school and who we are, and that the interactions that I had made them feel seen and heard and valued as part of our community When you think about our motto responsibility literally consideration one of the two that I heard you use a lot more that I really started to grow and like is integrity and respect What was kind of the addition of those two extra words really mean to our mission that you talked about here? And what do you think all the students here should kind of grow with?

So my predecessor, Dr. Daughtry, who I don't know if you, did you guys know? We weren't here, but I knew that was cool. He was the dean of students before he became director of the upper school.

And I think when we were looking at our code of conduct, he started using integrity and respect as the pillars on which responsibility, loyalty, and consideration sit. And that just makes a ton of sense to me, right? So I have carried that forward. And, okay, now you're going to have to repeat the second part of the question.

Oh, and the second part is what do you think students here really should kind of take with those integrity and respect? I know we talk a lot more about that now in some of our house meetings and our sponsor meetings, but what does that look like on the day-to-day versus that RLC that we've already had? I think integrity and respect just encompass responsibility, loyalty, and consideration in a broader way. And so we could talk about responsibility and say, okay, well, these are the things that fall under responsibility and these are the things that fall under loyalty and and these things fall under consideration but when you talk about integrity and respect it encompasses all of them and i hope that students truly we don't just talk about those things just to talk about them um they truly start to live those things in their decisions so our hope when we talk about the code of conduct when we talk about rlc and integrity and respect is that those things become a part of who you are.

And it is how you think about things and frame decisions. Like you all did that exercise on values, right? So the school has its values and the school's values, responsibility, loyalty, and consideration. And again, if you encompass it with integrity and respect, that is the lens through which we hope students experience this school and the kind of people they grow into.

Each of you identified your values and you'll see that the faculty identified their values. Those are the lenses through which you and you and I look at responsibility, loyalty, and consideration. Does that make sense? You can't put values on people.

So as you're doing value exercises and figuring out what drives your decisions and who you are as person and what's important to you, you take the values that are important to you and you look through them at responsibility, loyalty, and consideration and see where it fits in your values framework. Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes sense. And so I do hope that students take whatever values are most important to them and look at responsibility, loyalty, and consideration, integrity, and respect and make it relevant to who they are through their own lens.

Does that make sense yeah okay and then your job is inherently a serious one um most times but through the you know the prefects and having meetings with you we've also gotten to see like there's the fun mrs coy as well um so when mrs coy is off the clock um what does that look like for some students to hear um okay so i'm incredibly competitive in pretty much anything i do i like to play board games although no one in my family will play with me anymore. I work out. I like to run. I used to take and do kickboxing.

I haven't done that in a while. Anything that keeps me active and moving. I like to bake. My chocolate chip cookies are a favorite.

I have neighborhood children that come and knock on my door and ask for them. It's all right. It makes me happy to bake. And I really like to spend time with my family my kids are have grown um have grown up and and went to college and have come home back to cleveland for now and so spending time with them and again i have a i have a crazy sense of humor i like to watch movies um that probably are inappropriate and um i don't know i like to laugh believe it or not i don't know i don't know if people will believe it one One of the things that a lot of the teachers also talk about here is kind of the bond that you have between other teachers and faculty members and staff members.

Over these years, how have you gotten close with some of the other faculty members and the staff members and really kind of grown up as one larger family together too? Yeah, I think there are certain faculty members who I have been colleagues with since I started here. Like I said, Mr. Gallagher hired me.

I was his first hire. and when I first started as a learning specialist, Mrs. Ellery was the librarian and so we both lived in the library and she has become one of my mentors here and closest friends too and it's, you know, it really is a special place where you can develop friendships and those, some people have come and gone and I've maintained friendships with them and I would say, you know, as new people start and we share values and alignment and activities and I have people you know who do lots of different things around the school who I have just become friendly with and I don't I hope you all get to experience that as adults to have work friendships that turn into true friendships well Miss Coy this is the question that we always end on and yours is a pretty clear line running under you started with a special education degree which is a decision to kind of help kids who don't fit the standard model and then you got a law degree which went a completely different way then you went to Johns Hopkins to then study how brains like actually really work and then went from the learning services to so many other jobs here catching every and on top of all that you see as the freshman class dean catching every one of them in the year as they're equipped to kind of catch themselves so when you wake up and choose to do all this again and again what is your why and what keeps you going when kind of the mornings get hard? I would say my why really has to do with the relationships I can form here and the students that I can hopefully impact. And I do hope that you know when when people think about this place that it is with a fondness of okay yeah all right She may have been tough on me, but at least fair.

And so my why is really just the ability to interact with students and hopefully have a positive impact on their life. And I also work with some of the smartest people I have ever met. And so that is very, very real. Well, Ms.

Coy, it's been great having you on the show. Thank you so much for taking the time to share insights and experiences with us. to our listeners. Thank you so much for tuning in for the first episode of the 2026-2027 school year. And we'll hope you'll join us next Wednesday for another episode of Late Start Show.

Thank you, Ms. Coy. Thank you for having me.