Transcript: Mrs. Beros on Education, Leadership, and Guiding Students to Success

Welcome back to Late's Church Show with me, Charlie Martin. And me, Jack Nelson. We once again hope you're enjoying your nice break from waking up at the crack of dawn. Hopefully we can give you something good to listen to on your morning commute to school.

This week's interview is with the Associate Head of School and former Interim Director of College Counseling, Ms. Barras. The interview was incredibly interesting listening to someone who's been such a valuable member of the school community for so long. But before we get to that great interview, let's first review what this week has to offer.

In our sports section, hockey dropped their season opener to Toledo St. Francis 4-1. JV Hockey also dropped their game to St. Francis 2-0.

But then we bounced back as we swept Toledo St. John's on Saturday. The 5-0 win by Varsity and an 8-0 win by JV. The team then looks to play Friday and Saturday at the Jamie Rutherford Memorial Tournament.

It's at Bowling Green State University against Finley Villanova from Canada. Wow. In Bowling Green. Hopefully we can win the tournament and propel us into our next game on Wednesday against St.

Ed's. Good luck to them. Let's now get into some of the biggest news around school. The Piano Society's fall recital is Wednesday, November 20th at 7 p.m. in the Upper Commons.

Don't miss the Hunting Valley Winter Concert featuring the U.S. Orchestra, Glee Club, Chamber Players, and A Capella Group on Wednesday, December 4th at 7 p.m. in the Gundatorium. The Jazz Ensemble's Holiday Jazz Jingle Jam is Tuesday. The Jazz Ensemble's Holiday Jazz Jingle Jam is Tuesday, December 10th at 7 p.m. in the Upper Commons.

In other news, as head of the Law and Society Club, me and a couple of other students had the honor of hearing Judge Brennan talk to us and discuss her impressive legal career as she shared advice with the group last Friday. In other news, the Speech and Debate Team won big at the Perry Invitational, taking home the coveted Perry Chair for the first time in seven years. And finally, last Friday, Bingo Night, hosted by the Student Event Committee, was a hit with 125 students competing for prizes like Airsoft. Airpods, an Apple Watch, and a PS5.

Great job to all involved. Looking at our week's senior speeches, we have speeches this week from Cooper Rehak. We had a great one yesterday from Michael McNally. And Tucker Greer will also speak this week.

And we look forward to a speech next week from Aaron Cain. Well, guys, that's enough from us about this week. Coming up next is an interview with the Associate Head of School and former Interim Director of College Counseling, Ms. Barris.

She sat down with us to talk about her journey in education. Her experiences at U.S. And invaluable advice for students navigating high school and the college process. All right, let's jump into it.

Ms. Barris, up next. Welcome back to the show. We are here with Associate Head of School, Ms.

Barris. Ms. Barris also received the F.J. O'Neill Chair in Guidance Counseling in 2017.

How are you, Ms. Barris? I'm great. Thanks so much for having me on the show.

Thanks for being here. So as we begin, we want to start with your beginning in teaching and just in education. You started teaching. You started teaching at Laurel in 2011, where you taught history and life skills and served as the Associate Director of College Counseling.

What was your journey to that point in your career in education? Okay. I actually started my career in elementary education. So my first class was second grade at St.

Patrick's in West Park on the west side of Cleveland. And that was amazing. But also I thought, oh, my gosh, if I'm going to make this little money, I should go to grad school. So I had this detail.

I had a little detour where I went back to grad school for a while. But eventually realized I missed working with students and thought maybe I wanted to work with high school students. So my husband and I were moving back from Colorado. And I'd worked at Laurel in their summer camp.

And they had sort of a job that was made up of a couple different jobs. So I worked in first grade in the morning, and I did the middle school homework room after school. And then the next year, there was an opening in the upper school history department. And that's what my graduate work was in.

And so I started teaching. Wow. And then college counseling. One year, they were short in the office.

And they said, hey, you seem really excited about kids going to college. Would you like to help? And a year later, I was full time in college counseling. Loved it.

What has really been some of like, what was your push to college counseling? What really drove you to make that decision? I went to a big public school in St. Louis, Missouri.

And we had no college counseling at all. You turned in a form that said, please send my teacher recs to these schools. And that was it. And when I saw what Laurel was doing for students and how we really thought about what they wanted and what would be great environments for them, it just was interesting to me.

And I would get so excited when the girls got in to schools where they really saw themselves. So it was kind of a natural switch once I started doing it. And I just loved it. And what was the decision?

Why did you choose to come to U.S. after Laurel? So part of the CCIS schools consortium is, is a group of college counselors. And through that, I had met the woman who was the director at U.S. at the time, Jenny Fisher. And she and I just had a lot of agreement about the process of college counseling and how to help students achieve their goals.

And when a new opening was added to the office, because at that point she was the only full time college counselor and they were going to add a second full time counselor. She was like, hey, maybe you should come to U.S. And at the time I was sort of like, I'm here with all girls. Can I work with all boys?

But I'm so glad I made the switch. She talked me into applying and then I came. You know, what was it like teaching at a somewhat opposite school in that aspect where it's all girls, then moving to an all boys school? I think people think it's really different.

And I'm sorry to say the college process is not, except the girls are maybe a little earlier to get their stuff done than some of the boys are. But that's kind of a stereotype, too. The skills I was using at Laurel to help kids figure out what they wanted and where they wanted to go and then write those applications transferred over here really well. And I think I was surprised by just how much the boys engaged with me.

I sort of thought, well, the girls are so open. They're always going to share more about their lives. And I came here and had the same experience with the boys. It was just great.

That's right. And what is your experience been being a woman at a school like that's male focused like U.S.? I when I first got here, I sort of thought, you know, well, this is just going to feel like all guys, you know, in like the worst of ways. And it's it's not.

It's amazing. I think if I can be here and and be something of a role model that young men can see me in a position of leadership here, they are getting prepared for the real world where they're going to go out and and work for women and learn from women. And I want that to be positive here so that it's positive when you guys leave us, too. So that's.

Sort of what I thought. And I've I think over time have just grown to see how beneficial an all boys environment is for the boys as much as I thought it was for young women, too. And now you also hold the position of associate head of school. So how did you transition from being in the college counseling department to then being associate head of school?

Sure. While I was in college, it's amazing. But also I have this huge interest in curriculum. And what's a boy's experience like?

If he joins us in junior K or K or fifth grade or eighth grade or ninth grade, what's that journey for him while he's here? And I really got excited about initiatives we had going in that space. And so when that associate head role opened up, it really, truly was going to give me a chance to to pair all my background in education with my experience of trying to get boys ready to leave us and knowing what they needed along the way. So it really felt like this natural next step.

To sort of grow from college counseling into the educational part of what we do here. Well, we received some of your like favorite moments. You said you felt like that gratification where you went to public school where there wasn't like a college counselor guiding you through the way. But what are some of those like gratifying moments?

What are some of your favorite moments being a college counselor? And then also once you were just associate head of school with some of your favorite moments doing that? Sure. I mean, every class is different that comes through here and you connect with different.

Different kids in every class. And so that is is the great privilege of this, whether I'm their college counselor or I'm I was head of house for a while. I've been senior class dean like you get to connect with kids and be a little part of their journey. And and I have those for every single year I've been here.

And that's why I stay. It's just amazing knowing that maybe you're there for a kid when they need it. Maybe you're there for some tough advice when they need it, but you're helping them grow and then get ready to leave us and go on. So that's good.

As associate head, I've spent a lot of time in the lower and middle school, and that's fun, too, because it takes me back to when I worked with little guys. If you're having a bad day, there is nothing better than like going down to junior kindergarten or kindergarten and just hanging out because like it's just such a different perspective and they make me laugh every single time. So getting to connect with kids across the age range is one of my favorite parts of this job. You know, you talked about like having that entire age range, but also like connecting with the kids and really telling them, like, hey, this is what I want to do.

This is what I want to do. This is what I want to do. And like guiding them through the way. What do you really think is one of the most important thing you can tell kids about maybe the college counseling process, but just trying to get through U.S.?

Oh, I think I think sometimes people come here and one of the best things about U.S. is we have all these options, right? We have all these things you're going to get to do here. And sometimes people get a little overloaded. And if I could say one thing along the way, it's try new things.

But if you're ready to, like, stop doing one of those things because you want to try something else, that's OK, too. I think sometimes people add and add and add and they never subtract. And I would like guys to to have the space in their lives to try new things. And if it doesn't work out, that's OK.

That's a learning experience, too. I just want them to to be able to find a little bit of balance in their lives and and the ability to really figure out what they want without overloading themselves along the way. And am I correct in saying that you had a son that went through university school? So that's a pretty unique experience.

So you've seen the rest. You've seen the rigor and the hard work that takes for us students, but also you've seen the tremendous benefit, I'm sure, that the U.S. brings. So what was it like to see your son go through university school? That's it's really interesting because, of course, like, you know, you see him at home and you see him doing his homework at 11 o'clock at night and you're like, oh, kiddo, come on.

And on the other end, the people he connected with here, his teachers and coaches that are still important to him, that he still talks to like he wouldn't have had that anywhere else. I know that. So I'm just thankful that that my being here was a part of why he came here. And I'm just thankful that U.S. continues to be an important part of his life, even though he's a senior in college now.

You know, from prospective students, what value do you think university school kind of brings in that other schools don't? Because I know you talked about like the ability to have those options. But what do you really think is just if you could put one one point to like what U.S. brings that others can't, what would it really be? This is a community of relationships.

And I mean that in the most positive way possible, like students are close with each other, they're close with their teachers, they're close with their coaches and their sponsors and and all those things. And I just think in so many schools, those those relationships can't be there. There isn't enough time in the day. The classes are huge.

Teachers can't get the chance to know everyone. I am struck over and over again. By. How much the relationships are what make U.S.

So unique and and I fully believe that is a value add that we can't even we can't even measure how good that is. You know, going to that point, what do you think about the whole sponsor system? I know that's like one of those relationship bonding moments. How do you think it's really impacted U.S.?

I think it first of all, I think it's nice that we have the houses, that we have ways for boys to connect across grades and across divisions. That aren't just by sheer accident, right? We purposefully are going to put you in these spaces and have you get to know people. But more than that, you have a person who who is invested in your success and who can be there for you when things are going great and when things are going not so great.

Right. And to have an adult who is that person in your life, I think particularly at the upper school, where often people are with somebody all the way through that growth and that journey that they can support you on. That growth and that journey that they can support you on. That is.

That is. That is. That is. That is just amazing to me.

When I worked at Laurel at that point, we had all ninth graders were in like sponsor groups together and then we had 10th, 11th and 12th graders and sponsor groups mixed. And I always thought, yeah, there were moments it was great to have just ninth graders, but that kept them from getting to know some other young women in good ways. So I like I like our system. I also like that in the middle school you get some variety, right?

You're going to work with different people who are specialists in each grade, and that's pretty special, too. So we asked this question to a lot of actually everyone that we interview on this show. And I'm interested because of your perspective and your role. But if you could change one thing about U.S., what would it be and why?

Oh, I always tell people to ask this question at colleges when they're on tour. So that's a really good question. Honestly, don't come for me, teachers. I might tinker with the schedule a little bit.

I think there's no perfect schedule for any one school. But sometimes I feel like we could use time in some different ways and in different ways in different divisions. So maybe I would say tinker with the schedule a little bit. Now, do you think that schedule like you talked about tinkering, what would kind of you add?

Would it maybe be more free blocks for like certain activities to be held? Or what does that schedule change really look like? I think I think we have young men who really want to try some different things. And I like how much time we have in our classes.

But I sometimes wonder, is that right? Yeah. I think it might be a better way to get to another block so that kids would still get free blocks but also could do some of the additional things they want to do academically. Because sometimes you can only get that learning experience in a set class.

It isn't reflected in Anderson Scholars or Sternod. And I would like it if kids had that opportunity. I think it also might let some people stay in arts longer because I think that would be really lovely if people could continue with that all the way through. Yeah.

I know. We're going to test Charlie and I have a lot of projects we want to do. But then we have to balance what we have, a study hall. But we also need to get done our schoolwork.

Sure. So there's the extra time of the really great. But do you think there's a way that we can connect the upper school and the lower school marks? I know you go between both campuses.

Is there a way that we can maybe connect those two? I would love that. Because if you get to spend any time with the seniors and their buddies, I know you guys haven't had that experience yet, but it's coming. Yeah.

But it's coming. Those are like magical moments to see, not just like the little guys being so in awe of this big kid who's talking to them and hanging out with them and being kind with them. But the way the older guys treat those younger boys is really, I think, indicative of the men they're going to be in the future. And I love seeing the kindness and gentleness and just genuine way they are with them.

So I would love it. And I would love it if it wasn't just the littlest guys. I think third and fourth and fifth grade would really benefit from some upper school connections. So there's a million things in the day that we all want to do, right?

But I would love it if we could create something for that. You know, last episode we had Coach Canny on here. And he had brought up the fact that we had asked him what kind of separates us two. And he had brought up the idea that Harvard, right, he had brought up that whole analogy with Harvard.

Do you really think that, like, U.S. is at the top? Or do you think there's always just room for improvement? And that there's kind of somewhere we can go? I think you can even be Harvard and improve things, right?

I think if we stop and say this is how U.S. is and we never change anything, we're not serving ourselves or the students well. Continuing to refine what we do, continuing to think about is what we're offering, what young men today need, only makes us at least as good as we are now and maybe even better. So I'm somebody who's always thinking about that. I'm thinking, like, could we do something different?

Maybe we should change this guy. You know, like, there are different things we can do. And I would never want us to lose that sort of seeking constant improvement outlook. I think it's important for schools to be in that mindset.

And I think one of the great things about U.S. is change isn't seen as a bad thing, right? We can talk about this openly and kind of debate about it and, yeah, come to conclusions at the end of the day. So we also asked this question to Coach Canny, and we got a really interesting response. So I'm interested to hear yours.

So I'm interested to hear your response. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be? I think because of the high school I went to, I was really concerned with what other people thought of me at the time, and I should have just cared more about what I thought. So everybody thinks, oh, my gosh, people are always looking at me.

People are looking at my social media. People must care. And it's not that people don't care. It's just that they don't care as much as you think.

So do the things you want to do, and don't worry about other people. It's truly what you want to make of it in your life. I think one of the things that's really cool about U.S. is the competitiveness. So, I mean, we kind of constantly try to, like, get better grades and, like, do – I think that's what really pushes us at the end of the day sometimes.

We're just trying to look to, like, be better consistently. Do you think that there's some, like, kind of negatives to that competitiveness that we hold? Do you think – how do you think we can kind of solve that problem? I think it can be negative when it ruins friendships, when it gets in the space of being productive members of the community together.

And that's a constant sort of self-check. Like, hey, am I upset because that guy did better than me on that test, or am I upset because I didn't get to where I wanted to be? If it's about pushing yourself for yourself and your life goals, that's positive, right? That's positive competition.

If it's just about beating the guy you love. Yeah. If it's about getting the guy two deaths over, that's clearly negative. And so I think sometimes we get to that space, and I want people to think about, like, again, why am I doing this?

Where's the value in it for me? Do I have to get the highest grade to still have value? No, usually you don't. It's getting to understand the value of what you're doing for yourself and not worrying about what's going on around you.

Did you see that same competitiveness at Laurel, or is it a little different type of competitiveness at an all-boys school? I would say the young women at Laurel were competitive with each other in many of the same ways. I think sometimes the young men here are more willing to show that competitiveness out, really. And that's an issue for the young women to deal with.

Like, it's also okay to be competitive. You don't have to sugarcoat it. But, yeah, they're all going for the same things, too. And so it's just interesting to see the different dynamics that the two have.

You know, one of the questions I don't think we've asked anybody, but I think it would be really interesting for you, because we talk about, like, the career. Obviously, you host the podcast Through U.S. Boys Education Series, yeah. Shout out to the Boys Education Series.

But we were just wondering if you had any kind of book to recommend. Because I know in Freshman Foundation, we had, like, read a book about how to kind of push us through high school. But if you had any book to recommend, even if it doesn't have to be just education. Education-based, what would you kind of recommend to a high school?

I wish I had known you were going to ask me this. Because I would have had deep thoughts about this. I'm a big reader. First of all, I would say, I really, and I know you guys don't have a lot of time.

But I would really encourage people to read, even if it's that thriller that they bought at the airport going somewhere. Reading can be such a pleasure in your life. You can learn from it. You can relax and have fun and enjoy things through it.

So I would encourage people to keep reading, even if it's on a Kindle, on a device, whatever. Oh, my goodness. A book that I would recommend, this is really hard on the spot. I would say, I think a book everybody should read for a bit of a reality check and some thinking as they get older is Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.

I think so many good questions for people in there. Wow. Yeah, it's a great one. So we've talked with U.S. kids who have graduated from this school in the past couple of years.

And we've had the privilege of meeting you. And they all talk about your role in guiding them through high school, the college process. And obviously, it's impossible to meet with every kid and talk to them about their high school. Right?

But you've obviously made an impact on a lot of these kids. So if you had the chance to talk to the upcoming freshman class. And tell them a tip. On how to make it through U.S.

And what they should prepare. What would it be? The thing that we have here that so many schools don't have is you have an ability to access your teachers outside of class. And not just the ability to do it.

But your teachers would love to connect with you. That is a life skill going forward. Because in college, that is your lifeline. Going to those professors outside of class.

Connecting with them. In the work world. When you have other jobs in your company. Or the job that you might want someday.

And connecting with them. Those sort of off-the-record moments are the key to your own success. And I would encourage ninth graders coming in. I know it feels so weird to walk into a teacher's office and say, like, hi, I'm here.

I'm not sure why. But say it. Because a teacher will help you out. And having those initial conversations then sets it up for when class isn't going so well.

And it turns out you fall in love with that subject area. And you want to know, like, how do I do this more? How do I grow this area in my life? So really encouraging people to connect with teachers.

Wow. Well, thank you so much. So all the teachers at US, they all are different, very unique. Have a lot of different interests.

But they all seem to share a passion for teaching the students. Is there any one characteristic that you see that all the teachers share? It is extraordinary to me. The level of talent and commitment to their subject areas that our teachers have.

Like, don't take this for granted. It's not like this everywhere. I am blown away every day by my colleagues here at US. And I don't think sometimes students here realize it until they leave.

But, like, my son constantly will say to me, oh, my gosh, I'm taking a class on Asian civilizations. And this thing that we talked about in 10th grade world history came up. Like, I got it. Those things happen to him all the time.

And I think that's only because we have the level of talent and the level of experience and the level of commitment in the teachers here that we do. So enjoy that. It's extraordinary. And I think their talent also allows them to connect with not only do we have a unique range of teachers but a unique range of students.

I think it's one thing their talent allows them to connect with the wide range of students we have here. For sure. Thank you so much for such a great interview and just sharing so many great insights. To our listeners, thank you so much for tuning in.

And we hope you join us next Wednesday for another episode of The Late Start Show. Thank you, Ms. Perez. Thank you.

Thank you.